About Me
- Olivia Fox
- I am a believer in God, a mother, a daughter, a sister and friend. I am purpose driven with intentions of inspiring, provoking thought and dialogue while motivating and changing lives GLOBALLY...
Friday, October 21, 2011
The Olivia Fox Fix: HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART?
The Olivia Fox Fix: HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART?: Time passes so fast, and even though it sounds like a cliche, IT REALLY DOES! Look at me, I haven't blogged since September 2011, nearly 2 ...
HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART?
Time passes so fast, and even though it sounds like a cliche, IT REALLY DOES! Look at me, I haven't blogged since September 2011, nearly 2 months. I write when the mood strikes me, when I want to vent about a particular subject matter, or when something has happened to me or near me and I feel like sharing, so maybe it can help someone else.
In this particular instance, a little of all three has occurred.
The age old question, how do you mend a broken heart? How does one recover? How does one pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and move forward? Is there life after a heart break? If so,
WHERE IS IT? AND HOW DOES ONE GET TO THAT POINT? Let me put this out there right now...DISCLAIMER, DISCLAIMER....I am no doctor, I have no training in helping those with emotional problems or people who have suffered an emotional upset or trauma. But like so many, especially women, I have been in love, I have lost love, I have been in lust, DEEP HOT CRAZY OUT YO MIND I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS MAN GOT ME OUT HERE LIKE THIS... LUST, (smile) I have had a problem with getting rid of a few past love interest, restraining orders... don't even get me started on that.... And so, by sharing some of the things that worked for me, it can perhaps help someone else.
The first thing one has to do with all problem not just those of the heart is to ACKNOWLEDGE
the heart ache, the heart break, the love lost. Many of us are in denial when we know DAM WELL, its a wrap!!! Many times only one of the persons involved in the relationship knows that the relationship has ended meanwhile, the other is trying to fix it, trying to make it work, holding on like a 11week old weave that should have been put out it's misery 6 weeks ago. Its tough to face the fact that someone you love, either no longer loves you, or can't love you the way you need to be loved.
So in order to move forward you have to be in your right mind and know its A WRAP!!
Next, what do you want for yourself? Do you feel that you are worth a relationship that makes you happy or content more often than miserable and sad? Due to child hood traumas especially little girls, they aren't validated by their fathers, they don't get the attention or admiration from a male role model. So.... they grow up equating sex with love, any attention rather it be negative, degrading, disrespectful or lacking is better than nothing. They have such a low self image of themselves, they subconsciously believe they are not worth a healthy relationship. Maybe they came up in violence or a cheating womanizing father, so unless the man they are with as an adult is cheating, arguing, fighting etc, she may feel like it's not normal. Unfortunately we all come with baggage from childhood, the trick of it is to again acknowledge it, figure out what it has done to you as an adult and make a decision, do I want to continue to live like this? Do I want a different life for myself?
Next don't beat yourself up for wanting that relationship, back sliding.some people can be as addictive as a drug, case in point a guy I once knew, lets call him, "THAT NARCOTIC!".
He truly was a drug, if I knew I was going to see him I'd be excited, like a little crack head awaiting that next rock, if I didn't see him, I'd feel like, I was going into withdrawals like them folks on I the TV show Intervention who can't get their meth. When I see him and with him its like the bliss of a Heroin hit like those folks on Intervention who always end up in a nasty ass, dirty ass, gas station bathroom, on a toilet with dirty ass nails, and a beyond filthy toilet shooting up their next fix, then lying back like they have been hit by a tractor trailer.
Oh and fellas.... here's one for your memory, most women have THAT ONE GUY, who makes them still to this day..... lose their religion, just to think of him. And... there's a good chance? YOU NOT HIM!!!! And for you ladies who haven't experience that guy?.... I hate that for you(smile) I digress....
But treat the retreat as it is a drug rehab stint. The thing about an addiction, you can't leave one addiction and go to another one and expect to have success. So many people will leave one relationship and in order to get over that one, they start something else. You haven't even dealt with the last mess you were involved in. Especially if there are children involved! SIT YO ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE!... and get full closure of one relationship before bringing someone else in your mess. You are still involved emotionally with someone else and then get sexually involved with someone else, who may end up falling for you and you
aren't even honestly capable of being with them on that level, because you still tripping off the last person you are with.
A HOT ASS MESS! This is how mess gets started. Lets say for spits and giggles, you with a man you or him are married, or involved with someone else, separated, but still married or tied, neither one of you have filed for divorce and or not really legally separated , but here you two are involved with one another, and yo MESSY ASSES ARE STILL INVOLVED WITH YOUR SPOUSES!!! Nowwhat in the ham sandwich are ya'll doing and do you really think that hot mess will work out?!!! This is how people get hurt, babies are made, and as a result folks END UP ON MAURY, folks get stalked and in some instances on the real tip KILLED. Stranger things have happened and one thing you have to keep in the back of your mind at all times... YOU NEVER KNOW A PERSON'S MENTAL STATE, AND WHAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF WHEN EMOTIONS, PASSION, AND MATTERS OF THE HEART ARE INVOLVED!
So.... anyway ....to make a long story more drawn out, I think the only real remedy for a broken heart is... TIME! Time to acknowledge, reflect, claim responsibility, learn and move on. At least that's how I got over my heart ache, and alot of REDBOX MOVIE RENTALS.(smile)
Remember, GET LIFE, this ain't no dress rehearsal, and also... if you just got out of a relationship, marriage, living with someone and its over....SIT YO ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE AND ACKNOWLEDGE IT, REFLECT UPON IT, CLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN THE DEMISE, LEARN FROM IT .....THEN.....
MOVE ON OR AS JAY Z SAYS....On to the next one!
In this particular instance, a little of all three has occurred.
The age old question, how do you mend a broken heart? How does one recover? How does one pick themselves up, dust themselves off, and move forward? Is there life after a heart break? If so,
WHERE IS IT? AND HOW DOES ONE GET TO THAT POINT? Let me put this out there right now...DISCLAIMER, DISCLAIMER....I am no doctor, I have no training in helping those with emotional problems or people who have suffered an emotional upset or trauma. But like so many, especially women, I have been in love, I have lost love, I have been in lust, DEEP HOT CRAZY OUT YO MIND I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS MAN GOT ME OUT HERE LIKE THIS... LUST, (smile) I have had a problem with getting rid of a few past love interest, restraining orders... don't even get me started on that.... And so, by sharing some of the things that worked for me, it can perhaps help someone else.
The first thing one has to do with all problem not just those of the heart is to ACKNOWLEDGE
the heart ache, the heart break, the love lost. Many of us are in denial when we know DAM WELL, its a wrap!!! Many times only one of the persons involved in the relationship knows that the relationship has ended meanwhile, the other is trying to fix it, trying to make it work, holding on like a 11week old weave that should have been put out it's misery 6 weeks ago. Its tough to face the fact that someone you love, either no longer loves you, or can't love you the way you need to be loved.
So in order to move forward you have to be in your right mind and know its A WRAP!!
Next, what do you want for yourself? Do you feel that you are worth a relationship that makes you happy or content more often than miserable and sad? Due to child hood traumas especially little girls, they aren't validated by their fathers, they don't get the attention or admiration from a male role model. So.... they grow up equating sex with love, any attention rather it be negative, degrading, disrespectful or lacking is better than nothing. They have such a low self image of themselves, they subconsciously believe they are not worth a healthy relationship. Maybe they came up in violence or a cheating womanizing father, so unless the man they are with as an adult is cheating, arguing, fighting etc, she may feel like it's not normal. Unfortunately we all come with baggage from childhood, the trick of it is to again acknowledge it, figure out what it has done to you as an adult and make a decision, do I want to continue to live like this? Do I want a different life for myself?
Next don't beat yourself up for wanting that relationship, back sliding.some people can be as addictive as a drug, case in point a guy I once knew, lets call him, "THAT NARCOTIC!".
He truly was a drug, if I knew I was going to see him I'd be excited, like a little crack head awaiting that next rock, if I didn't see him, I'd feel like, I was going into withdrawals like them folks on I the TV show Intervention who can't get their meth. When I see him and with him its like the bliss of a Heroin hit like those folks on Intervention who always end up in a nasty ass, dirty ass, gas station bathroom, on a toilet with dirty ass nails, and a beyond filthy toilet shooting up their next fix, then lying back like they have been hit by a tractor trailer.
Oh and fellas.... here's one for your memory, most women have THAT ONE GUY, who makes them still to this day..... lose their religion, just to think of him. And... there's a good chance? YOU NOT HIM!!!! And for you ladies who haven't experience that guy?.... I hate that for you(smile) I digress....
But treat the retreat as it is a drug rehab stint. The thing about an addiction, you can't leave one addiction and go to another one and expect to have success. So many people will leave one relationship and in order to get over that one, they start something else. You haven't even dealt with the last mess you were involved in. Especially if there are children involved! SIT YO ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE!... and get full closure of one relationship before bringing someone else in your mess. You are still involved emotionally with someone else and then get sexually involved with someone else, who may end up falling for you and you
aren't even honestly capable of being with them on that level, because you still tripping off the last person you are with.
A HOT ASS MESS! This is how mess gets started. Lets say for spits and giggles, you with a man you or him are married, or involved with someone else, separated, but still married or tied, neither one of you have filed for divorce and or not really legally separated , but here you two are involved with one another, and yo MESSY ASSES ARE STILL INVOLVED WITH YOUR SPOUSES!!! Nowwhat in the ham sandwich are ya'll doing and do you really think that hot mess will work out?!!! This is how people get hurt, babies are made, and as a result folks END UP ON MAURY, folks get stalked and in some instances on the real tip KILLED. Stranger things have happened and one thing you have to keep in the back of your mind at all times... YOU NEVER KNOW A PERSON'S MENTAL STATE, AND WHAT PEOPLE ARE CAPABLE OF WHEN EMOTIONS, PASSION, AND MATTERS OF THE HEART ARE INVOLVED!
So.... anyway ....to make a long story more drawn out, I think the only real remedy for a broken heart is... TIME! Time to acknowledge, reflect, claim responsibility, learn and move on. At least that's how I got over my heart ache, and alot of REDBOX MOVIE RENTALS.(smile)
Remember, GET LIFE, this ain't no dress rehearsal, and also... if you just got out of a relationship, marriage, living with someone and its over....SIT YO ASS DOWN SOMEWHERE AND ACKNOWLEDGE IT, REFLECT UPON IT, CLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY IN THE DEMISE, LEARN FROM IT .....THEN.....
MOVE ON OR AS JAY Z SAYS....On to the next one!
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