The greatest thing I will ever be and do.....BEING A MOM...

When I tell you that I LOVE being a mom?  I am really telliing you truth.  I thank God  in prayer every morning and every night for blessing me with life.  If you are like me ,one of these career chasing chicks also know ass the United Career Chasing Chick Society...UCCCS.... if you are like me and chased , followed, and stalked your own career to "make it" to be all and everything thats is involved with that notion.  You know  in my industry Im talknig about attending every hot event, booking all the hottest interviews, flexing at every red carpet event, getting invited to all the "in parties ",while demonstrating a level of professionalism where its of the upmost importance to be considered one of the best.  Yes that was me . But somewhere around the year of 2002 I craved something more of my life.  I wanted to create a legacy, a life, a family, I wanted to be a mom.

 In my mid 30's I walked down the aisle with a man 10 years younger than me  and relished in being a wife. I had high hopes to be a mother, it was for some time,  all that occupied my thoughts.  Everywhere I would go I would see pregnant women, every child I would see was adorable and I would constantly wonder what a child created by myself and my then husband would look like.  Well several days after losing the one job that had put me on the map nationally, a syndicated radio personality with fans all over the country.  My husband and I found out we were pregnant.  What a blessing, what a sense of humor God had, he bought me through the storm of unemployment and gave us a life.  I dont know about you, but Id take LIFE over a job ANYDAY.

Being pregnant was one of the best experiences of my life. I loved it.  I didn't mind getting swole because just between you me and a flea.... MY ASS WAS SWOLE  BEFORE I GOT PREGNANT.  So it wasn't a huge adjustment. It is comedy to me when you hear these  little salad eating women who are obsessed with working out, get pregnant, get swole and ...LOSE THEIR MINDS!!  All they do is bitch about how much weight they have put on.  SHUT YO ASS UP!!! you have life inside of you stop focusing on your own ego and your own insecurities and realize how blessed you are TO EVEN BE PREGNANT.  Man... if you hear one more story  of  a woman who cant conceive? You will never say a dam thing about being swole again

Anyway... where the hell was I.... ughh...ADD is real. But ummm... yeah my ass WAS SWOLE.  But I didnt care, I knew that this child would be the love of my life and boy did I underestimate her.  From the first time I laid eyes on her as they pulled her out  of my gut and by the way....WHY MY ASS STILL LOOK PREGNANT AFTER HAVING HER?  AND TO THIS DAY... if you catch me after an esepcially thirsty weekend, I COULD BE 5 MONTHS!!!  But as I was saying.... Dont ask me how far along I am.... HATERS!!!!   But umm,... yeah.... as I had said...MY ASS WAS SWOLE....

But when I saw herl little pie face and small slanty eyes just like her mom and dads, and those little perfect lips and her  little perfect feet and little perfect hands, and when babies are new they have those little creases in their necks and one time I was holding her and I kept smelling blue cheese and Im like IS THAT MY ASS?  AM I STINKING LIKE BLUE CHEESE ?.... man.... we bathed her and pulled that little head back and inside her little creases of her neck...cottage cheese.  I threw up a little in my mouth then said...Awwww... my baby got cottage cheese on her neck from milk running down her mouth and settling in the folds of her neck.  My little cottage cheese buttermilk smelling neck having baby.  She is my joy.

Still to this day, I see that little baby.  Still to this day I remember the first time I looked at her and held her.  STILL TO THIS DAY..... no other feeling like what she gives me, PURPOSE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, INSPIRATION, LAUGHTER, WARMNESS, ACCEPTANCE, LOVE!!!!

I have accomplished so much in my life I have gone so many places met so many people....
wait... what song is that?  Is it Peabo?  no wait... Donny Hathaway... no wait I got it...RAY CHARLES..
 Singing a song for you.  Yeah thats it... I told ya'll ......I be lunching... and I typle like I speak, and my mother is rolling her eyes right now and my dad is turning over in his grave TWO TIMES  cause I am college educated  up on here using the conjugation of  TO Be... ghetto VERSION...... you be, i be, she and he be, they be, theys be, and DEERS BE....
JUST LOUD AND WRONG....  Ewwww I swear I need to do an outline before I start these rants I  gets so caught up in my MY OWN DAM CONVERSATION... Wait....quit playing... I had something reallly real...REDUNDANT....
something really profound to wrap this thang up !!!....but I forgot....


So Ill just say this,  all the years and still to this day I hear my mom talking about the love she has for each of her children, the way she worries even though all our asses is old as hell.  DONT TELL MY OLDEST BROTHER, HONEY HE WILL ARGUE YO ASS DOWN ABOUT HOW HE NOT OLD.  Whole nother blog.... but I now understand.  I get it.  There are tons of things you can do with your life, tons of people you can inspire and affect with your life's work, but NOTHING... will represent you, fulfill, and love you like...
LIFE.... A CHILD!!!!   I thank God for her everyday, twice a day!!!! 

As always .....as my crying, teary eyed ass wipes the tears from my face.....
I say... What good is success if your hair is a hot dam mess. 
HAVE YOU NOTICED EACH CLOSING IS JUST AS DIFFERENT AS THE LAST... WHY?  cause my ass keep forgetting what I said the first time.  BAD MEMORY HAVING ASS....

I digress......AGAIN.....
GET LIFE BABY....THIS AINT NO DRESS REHEARSAL!!!

What was wrong with the original?

So I'm out grocery shopping yesterday.  A task I rather enjoy, not because I love food, but I am a food product company's dream.  Based on sample placement and marketing techniques, I will try new products, not just for the sake of sampling a new product, but it always interest me to see if I have fallen for the objective of eye level marketing and allowing it  to affect my purchasing choices.   I can spend hours in a grocery store if I had hours to do such, why you ask?  Well..... it is always interesting to me  how product placement differs in various grocery store outlets and various regions based on the target demographic that is spending money at that particular location.
 Have you ever wondered why certain things are placed where they are?  I have, and perhaps I do because I have too much time on my hands (smile) and maybe its because I am too observant of my immediate surroundings. But one thought that pops to mind often in my grocery store shopping experience is......
what was wrong with the original?
Consumers are so often manipulated by the advertising companies in thinking new and improved is better.  WHY?  What was wrong with the regular Tide?  Now we got mountain fresh tide, tide with bleach, tide with floral scent, tide with color enhancement?
 WHAT IN THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH REGULAR TIDE?
Let's talk about Oreo cookies, now I love me some Oreo cookies but what do you see when you go to the cookie aisle?  Double stuffed Oreos, vanilla oreos?!  WHY?  WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE REGULAR OLE OREO COOKIES?  And this one right here kills me!!!  Low fat..... Look, some things shouldn't be low fat, if you scared to eat something because its fattening?  DON'T EAT IT!!!.  Low fat cookies, low fat ice cream , low calorie beer.  Ummmm...... COOKIES, ICE CREAM, AND BEER ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FATTENING!!! That's why they are cookies, ice cream, and beer!!!! 
Americans are diet obsessed and yet we are the fattest nation in the world.  So make up your mind, either yo ass gone be fat..... or you are not.  If you are content in yo fatness, embrace yo fatness,
EAT THE REGULAR DAM COOKIES ,ICE CREAM, AND DRINK REGULAR BEER!!!!  If you are going to be weight worried,  DON'T EAT COOKIES, ICE CREAM, AND DRINK REGULAR BEER.   It's like people who choose to smoke cancer sticks, I mean cigarettes.  You know cigarettes are deadly, but you think you are smoking LESS CANCER CAUSING CHEMICALS by smoking Marlboro lights, Newport lights. really?  Cancer is Cancer THERE IS NO CANCER LIGHT, THERE IS NO FAT FREE CANCER!!!  I digress....
I just dont understand why folks  feel the need to improve on an original that was already fine. 
I get technology, things are always improving, look at portable DVDs and cell phones.  Remember how expensive and big a portable DVD player was when it first came out?  Cell phones too.  I love New Jack City remember when Nino Brown was in the Jeep on that BIG ASS CELL PHONE WITH THE STRAP.  Now cell phones are so small and convenient.  So in that instance I get the original being improved  upon because technology is like time, it is constant.  BUT..... wasn't nothing wrong with an original disposable douche.  Now what we got?  Mountain fresh, floral fresh, extra vinegar, extra mild.  Do you think your vagina cares about smelling mountain fresh?  If they really  wanna do something give the various douche products  flavors like Honey dipped wings, Chilli's Baby back ribs,Cotton Candy, Bananna Now and Later flavor....things we love to taste.... Ok... let me back up off that subject.(smile)
All Im saying is..... some things just dont need improving upon, and some things are good as an original.  Let me tell you something... back when I used to go hard drinking... People would look at me like I was the biggest redneck ,trailor park trash, marlboro red cigarette smoking, deer hunting  shotgun rebel flag flying,
Rush Limbaugh supportin,  Ku Klux Klan card carrying individual, when I stepped to a bartender and say....LET ME GET A BUDWEISER!!!  Now....Budweiser has deviated  somewhat like so many products, improving, adding, circulating, and marketing new forms of budweiser and I aint mad.  But when you get through talking....AINT NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL BUDWEISER... THE KING OF BEERS.
I know what ya'll thinking...she did NOT say Budweiser!!! Yessir..... Im a St. Louis girl, born and raised and thats how we do in the Lou!!!! Believe that!!!
Any who.... I have 4 loads of clothes to wash... which  I might add., I WILL be using the ORIGINAL TIDE, CAUSE WASN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THE ORIGINAL TIDE!!! DAMMIT.   Ewww... that was weighing heavily on my spirit, and I had to get  all that off my chest, so I will close this rant out, but just remember, on your next grocery store shopping run, instead of being manipulated and coerced into the new and improved, ask yourself....WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE ORIGINAL? and think of me.
As always in parting....
.what good is money and success if your hair looks A  HOT FUNKY ASS MESS?
GET LIFE BABY....THIS AINT NO DRESS REHEARSAL

What are you willing to give up?

I cannot be the only person in the world who is having a hard time with adjusting to this economy.  From the looks of the parking lots at the malls, I am starting to think I just might be.  Never have I seen more cars outside of a mall on a Tuesday of all days.  You can't turn on the television, radio or internet and not see or hear a story regarding the economy.  Folks are losing their jobs, unemployment rates are steady, and don't EVEN get me started on the housing market.  Gas is high, utility bills are high, food is high, and products and or services we once didn't blink an eye at purchasing are now in the "do I really NEED THIS" column. 
Its rough out here ladies and gentlemen.  Even those of us who have been gainfully employed and good at what we do, are now...for lack of a better terms, ASS OUT.  Out of work.
I lost my job back on June 23, 2010.  Not too big of a deal for people in my industry
(urban  commercial radio) where  you can be fired and dropped like a bad habit, even if you are good at what you do, even if you are popular, even if you are considered one of the best in the industry.  The reason behind my dismissal? that old.....going in another direction excuse and THAT DIRECTION? Just so happened once again, didn't include my black ass!  With so many of us in my industry, I had to sit out for 6 months on a
non compete clause in my contract, which meant, until Christmas Eve, I couldn't work within a 30 mile radius of where I broadcast from..Unless I wanted to pack up my kid and move to God knows where to work, I had to, NOT do what I have spent half of my adult life doing, being a radio personality. Christmas has come and gone and the new year has begun, and I am still out of work. But this time by choice.  I choose to look at my years of experience, and talent and explore the option of taking my winning brand  of Olivia Fox and going in my own, DIFFERENT DIRECTION.Unfortunately.... that different direction has not  yet afforded me the lifestyle and income I have become accustomed to over the past 10 years..Like so many others, I have had to learn to cut back  I have had to really think....what am I willing to give up?
If you are like me, faced with cutting back on your products and services, this has been a grueling adjustment.  However after you get the hang of it, you soon realize, a lot of the crap you and I have?... and alot of the crap you and I want?...YOU AND I DONT NEED!  Its funny how one of the worse things happening to you can actually make YOU a better YOU. Is this a NEED or a WANT?  If its a want? I have learned to give it up.  If it is a NEED, I budget and instead of getting  it on a whim, I give it thought first.
.Its been tough, because Olivia doesnt do the...  (HOLD UP..... DID.I JUST SPEAK IN 3RD PERSON?) I hate  it when people do that,  it is so EXTRA to me, you have CLEARLY LOST IT WHEN YOU ARE SPEAKING OF YOURSELF IN 3RD PERSON! LET ME COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH.. sorry I tripped for a minute...I say ALL THIS TO SAY.... rather you are feeling the pinch of this economy or not, rather you are making 6 figures or better or apart of the working poor living check to check... we can all  stand to ask ourselves?  DO I REALLY NEED THESE THINGS?  I had to ask myself, do I really need a facial once a month?, my nails done every 2 weeks?  My hair DID every 2 weeks WAIT ..HOLD UP AGAIN..I AM LYING... even when I was working and getting money, I didnt see my hairdresser but every 6 to 8 weeks. I was good for slapping on a wig or jelling back my nappy edges with the good pre con gel
(if you aren't black you are not going to have any idea what Im talking about, but just ask one of your black girlfriends what pre con is, you will be shocked at her facial expression when you ask her)LOL.... I had to ask myself do I really need a new car when the one Im driving is paid for? Do I really need
ANOTHER LIPSTICK FROM MAC? 
But dont get it twisted folks, there is one thing I am not willing to give up and that is... my BIKINI WAX...
I dont care if I have to go up in spa with PENNY ROLLS....
IM GONE GET MY BRAZILLIAN WAX, shooooooot.... a girl has to have one vice(smile)
OK....WRAP..... IT...... UP..... in closing, just know, you are not alone, this economy is rough and its making everything including the edges of my hair rough as well, but you will find just as I have, that some of those things you have had to give up....needed to be given u.  And when I get back up on my feet with the streams of revenue generating on the level it once did, I will be happy that this temporary time of financial adjustment has taught me several  lessons, one being the most important, the differences between wants and needs. And I now know, what I am capable of giving up and by learning that ,I have also learned many of those things,
I didn't really NEED anyway.
As always I ask you,  what good is money and success? if your hair is a hot dam mess!
Get life People!!.... this ain't no dress rehearsal.

Is sex overrated?

So yesterday a friend and I were discussing the importance of  a good healthy sex life.  I told him I heard a female friend once  say,"sex is overrated Olivia."  And I asked him what he thought about that?  I always find it so interesting how men and women see things so differently.  It reminds me of the childhood game we used to play called telephone.  Remember that game?  You would all sit in a circle and the initial message would be written down and the person who thought of it would whisper to the person next to them . The message would be shared around the circle to each person.  By the time the  nessage got to the final person and  said out loud, it would always be a different message from the original.  I think alot of it has to do with the way we hear things as men and women and the way we decipher , perceive, and relate to different things. 
Why would sex be any different? For so many women we tend to be emotional beings. meaning a great deal of us, not all, but quite a few of us have  caught  feelings based on sex  and as a result view sex with an individual from an emotional state.  Where as men, and though  I have never had testicales....connected to me... although last Friday night while walking through a restaurant I heard a man say to his girl... look... thats a dude.  I  thought. to myself..... I know yo bitch ass aint talking to me!!!
 (sorry.... Im trying to get away from cursing but sometimes BITCH ASS is just so fitting for some men.) But then I thought about it ,and most dragqueens are FIERCE, so I must have been looking good that night.  See.... his  bitch ass thought he was  really doing something and I took that away  from him.... WIT YO ,PUNKASS!!!  Any who....I digress....
 I told you I have ADD, where was I?....yeah .....so errr ruh.... Many men look at sex as a physical thing.  Thats why when some men cheat they really believe it  when they tell their significant other, baby....she didn't MEAN ANYTHING because it was just a physical act.  So.... we view sex differently.  But to say sex is overrrated in my opinion, that woman has not had the JOY,of being with a sexual partner who leaves you KNOWING....SEX IS IMPORTANT!. Are you serious?overated?  really?  so.... having a healthy connection with the person you are with is not important?  Its apart of THE  intimacy that you share with someone and if it is not enjoyable or WORTH IT, whats the point?   In order to truly enjoy the art of sex one must  be in touch with their own sexuality, you must be comfortable in your own skin.  Many women have body image issues.  If you dont love your body ,how can you expect for someone else to?  You also must know what you like ,without being too graphic and pornish...(not a word but you feel me) Its so important to KNOW what it takes to take you there.  So if you are not experiencing that, you can very well share your wants and needs wtih your partner.  Now.... Im not saying there arent other things just as important...
 for example....J O B.... NEGATIVE HIV TEST.....NOT LIVING WITH YO MOMMA....BEING DAM NEAR 40 AND COMPETING IN  A MADDEN TOURNAMENT, MISSING TEETH.....
 THE IMPORTANT ONES... IN THE FRONT... ummm....
did I say J O B.......Look...f you lack sexual compatibility, those thangs that were CUTE when you first started dating will be ON YO NERVES.  Dont believe me? Ask any married man, is it true if your wife is happy EVERYONE IS HAPPY.  But if she is not?.... then NO ONE IS.  Sex is overrated?..... IS IT?...
 what do you think.?  Well if you ask me..... IT IS NOT......IT IS.... WHAT YOU THINK IT IS based on the kind of sex you have had and/or having. 
Look....thats my 2 cents....ny fingers hurt...
 As always. in closing .....I ask you?
What good is money and success if YOUR hair is a HOT DAM  mess?
 GET LIFE BABY....this aint no dress rehersal.