What about your friends?

I was listening to the Ricky Smiley Morning show as I do each and every morning when getting my kid ready and  off to school and I heard one of my favorite sister girls on the air, Lisa Raye.  Now many of you may  remember her from the early 90s movie, Players Club, but I remember her from the various times I have had the pleasure of interviewing her at several events I have covered during my radio career.  But anywho.... Today she was talking about her journey and how she has had to let go of people in her life that were so called friends, and how God sends people to your life for various reasons and  sometimes for a limited season. And though this saying is used alot, "there's a reason for some and a just a season for others" or something like that, I tend to dislike the usage, and or over used sayings like that and others like.....
"knowwhatimsaying".  Have you ever noticed people who say "knowwhatimsaying", chances are
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HAM SANDWICH THEY ARE SAYING?  Or.... "
YOU FEEL ME SON"?..... ummmm.... first of all.... I'm a woman.... so.... I'm not  yo son, and
HELL TO THE NAW I DO NOT FEEL YOU, I CAN HARDLY UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE TRYING TO SAY!.  Oh and one of my all time least favorites..".STOP HATIN"....
"YOU HATIN"..... "I KNOW YA'LL HATIN"...."GET OFF THAT HATERADE"
Ok.... let me just say this.... CAN YA'LL STOP SAYING ALL THOSE!!!  Who in the hell came up with that that term anyway?  Let me say this for the record, just because you have an opinion on someone or have the skill level and fortitude to do better than what someone else is doing and you say that or comment on that, DOESN'T MAKE YOU A HATER.!  It makes you a person with an opinion.  Sometimes it just makes you a person with a constructive criticism.  If I don't like Mozart am I a HATER OF MOZART?.  No... I just don't care for it.... so SHUT YO OVER USING A PHRASE ASS  UP!!!
Whew...... I  am sorry, I COMPLETELY DIGRESS from what I came on here to blog about, but that was on my spirit from a few days ago, I  just had to get it off my chest.  Now.... let me scroll up and see what I was originally on here to spew about.  Oh and one more thing............its SCROLL NOT STROLL
 Some of ya'll say "let me stroll through my notes"...LOUD AND WRONG!!!  anywho....................
As I was saying before I got carried away... Lisa Raye was talking about friends and it made me post a long shout out on my facebook page (which by the by is  @facebook.com/oliviafox  (shameless plug) I posted a shout out this morning about the people I consider my best friends and how blessed and fortunate I am to have them in my life.  I think there should be certain criteria a person must meet and certain character traits a person must possess to be considered a friend.  Newsflash...alot of us are calling people friends and ....they really are not.  Some are just folk we know or have known for a long time and it doesn't necessarily make them your friends.  Co workers, again we see them everyday, but  it doesn't necessarily make them
YOUR FRIENDS.  Also for my married and or involved people, just because someone is friends with YOUR MATE, doesn't make them YOUR FRIEND AS WELL.  It's important when you are WITH SOMEONE that you maintain your OWN IDENTITY and your OWN FRIENDS.  How many times have we seen people completely isolate and become so overly intoxicated by a relationship that they lose the essence of what and who they truly  are, be it their identity,  their own friends and sometimes, sadly, family, as well.  That's an entirely whole NOTHA BLOG.
But here are some ways to tell if the person whom you consider "a friend" is truly "a friend"
.When something good, terrific, or horrific happens in your life, do you consider calling this person first and telling them the great news or the horrific news?  And.....when you call them, are they really listening and engaged in what you are saying? Are they generally and genuinely happy for you or is there are feeling that they may be secretly HATIN?.....
There's that dam word..... my bad.  But you know when someone is truly happy for you or truly
THERE FOR YOU when you really need a shoulder.  AND.... are you that for them?  Some people have it twisted they think folk are supposed to be THERE for them but they are not offering the same to that person.  Have you ever called someone and the entire conversation is about THEM?  They don't take a moment to say..look enough about me and my drama, how are you? How are things with you? And they really mean it and LISTEN?!! That's real peeps right there.
Next..... in an emergency... I mean a REAL emergency, let's say.... while you are at the hairdresser, your stylist is on the phone with the utility company arguing about why her lights have been cut off and she has left the perm ON  TOO LONG ON YOUR HEAD and as a result you have 2nd and 3rd degree chemical burns round your edges and yo ass has to go to emergency room?.... AND YOU HAVE TO CAL SOMEONE..... would that person that you consider to be "your friend" be THERE TO GET YOU, see about you, do whatever it is you need to make certain you ok?.Or ......DO THEIR asses say.... "oh boo, my man's daughter has a soccer practice and I promised to pick her up let me call him and I will call you back"?
HO....ARE YOU SERIOUS?...... really?.....I'm in the E. R. and you gotta call this man? whom by the way you have known for AN ENTIRE 4 months and my ass is in the hospital? with a BURNT UP ASS SCALP?.... REALLY.?.... That's not a friend.....And again... it goes both ways, if my friend is in need, I'm there....don't even think about it. I'm there, what you need boo?, who can I call for you?, can I get some SALVE, VASELINE,  OR ALOE PLANT TO RUB ON YOUR BURNT UP ASS SCALP,
I got you!!!!! And third..... and I always say, money and friendships never mix, HOWEVER.... times are rough, folk gettin put out their homes, cars repossessed etc.... etc...... and sometimes you can be short,
AS MY DADDY WOULD SAY....30 CENTS SHY OF A QUARTER.... is that "friend" someone who will offer to help without you even asking?.  It's the thought sometimes, and I do not recommend money borrowing from friends because Lord knows I have heard horror stories about folks, EVEN BLOOD,  and KIN, hell my own family arguing, yelling and ultimately STOP TALKING over 200 dollars. OVER 200 HUNDRED LOUSY ASS DOLLARS?!!!!..... REALLY?..... that again is an entirely NOTHA BLOG.....
Just to offer someone who is in need means alot and again you should have the type of relationship with your friends to let them know you have that for them if they need it.
These are just a few questions you should ask yourself when looking at the relationships you have in your own life. It's always important to check and re check the circle you keep around you.  I don't know  who it was who said it, but you truly are THE COMPANY YOU KEEP.  And..... if you are the type of person who desires to live with purpose, to really BE OF SOMETHING as one of my best friends mom's says..... then
IT IS EVEN MORE critical to take an inventory on your circle of friends.  If a person is on a "come up" or is always back in the cut trying to figure out what they can get from a situation, that is not a friend! That my dear  is a LEACH, a user, and quite frankly an automatic DELETE FROM ANY AND ALL COMMUNICATIONS!!!!  If a person is narcissistic meaning everything AND I MEAN EVERYTHING, no matter what ends up being  about them?  That is not a friend, that is JUST PLAIN ANNOYING.  And if the climate of your life takes a turn for the worse meaning, you either lose your job, lose a relationship, your income or status changes or you suffer a health crisis or worst.... HELL.... WHAT'S IS WORSE  than all that I JUST NAMED?  THOSE ARE  SOME OF THE WORST THINGS TO HAPPEN TO A PERSON... but if things fall apart and the dust settles and that so called friend is no where to be found?  Guess what?  that's just a blessing, because one thing about people.... if you wait long enough THEY WILL REVEAL THEIR TRUE SELVES. and that revelation could be THAT BLESSING you needed.
Keep your circle like I keep my bra straps..... TIGHT!! Ask yourself....What about my friends?  What about them? Are they true blue or...AM I ,A TRUE FRIEND? Are they only around for a season?  Its an inventory we all should take from time to time.
Well thats my 2cents, as always.... This thing you living? THIS AIN'T NO DRESS REHEARSAL....
.Get life.....
Love it, enjoy it and  treasure your friends!