What was wrong with the original?

So I'm out grocery shopping yesterday.  A task I rather enjoy, not because I love food, but I am a food product company's dream.  Based on sample placement and marketing techniques, I will try new products, not just for the sake of sampling a new product, but it always interest me to see if I have fallen for the objective of eye level marketing and allowing it  to affect my purchasing choices.   I can spend hours in a grocery store if I had hours to do such, why you ask?  Well..... it is always interesting to me  how product placement differs in various grocery store outlets and various regions based on the target demographic that is spending money at that particular location.
 Have you ever wondered why certain things are placed where they are?  I have, and perhaps I do because I have too much time on my hands (smile) and maybe its because I am too observant of my immediate surroundings. But one thought that pops to mind often in my grocery store shopping experience is......
what was wrong with the original?
Consumers are so often manipulated by the advertising companies in thinking new and improved is better.  WHY?  What was wrong with the regular Tide?  Now we got mountain fresh tide, tide with bleach, tide with floral scent, tide with color enhancement?
 WHAT IN THE HELL WAS WRONG WITH REGULAR TIDE?
Let's talk about Oreo cookies, now I love me some Oreo cookies but what do you see when you go to the cookie aisle?  Double stuffed Oreos, vanilla oreos?!  WHY?  WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE REGULAR OLE OREO COOKIES?  And this one right here kills me!!!  Low fat..... Look, some things shouldn't be low fat, if you scared to eat something because its fattening?  DON'T EAT IT!!!.  Low fat cookies, low fat ice cream , low calorie beer.  Ummmm...... COOKIES, ICE CREAM, AND BEER ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FATTENING!!! That's why they are cookies, ice cream, and beer!!!! 
Americans are diet obsessed and yet we are the fattest nation in the world.  So make up your mind, either yo ass gone be fat..... or you are not.  If you are content in yo fatness, embrace yo fatness,
EAT THE REGULAR DAM COOKIES ,ICE CREAM, AND DRINK REGULAR BEER!!!!  If you are going to be weight worried,  DON'T EAT COOKIES, ICE CREAM, AND DRINK REGULAR BEER.   It's like people who choose to smoke cancer sticks, I mean cigarettes.  You know cigarettes are deadly, but you think you are smoking LESS CANCER CAUSING CHEMICALS by smoking Marlboro lights, Newport lights. really?  Cancer is Cancer THERE IS NO CANCER LIGHT, THERE IS NO FAT FREE CANCER!!!  I digress....
I just dont understand why folks  feel the need to improve on an original that was already fine. 
I get technology, things are always improving, look at portable DVDs and cell phones.  Remember how expensive and big a portable DVD player was when it first came out?  Cell phones too.  I love New Jack City remember when Nino Brown was in the Jeep on that BIG ASS CELL PHONE WITH THE STRAP.  Now cell phones are so small and convenient.  So in that instance I get the original being improved  upon because technology is like time, it is constant.  BUT..... wasn't nothing wrong with an original disposable douche.  Now what we got?  Mountain fresh, floral fresh, extra vinegar, extra mild.  Do you think your vagina cares about smelling mountain fresh?  If they really  wanna do something give the various douche products  flavors like Honey dipped wings, Chilli's Baby back ribs,Cotton Candy, Bananna Now and Later flavor....things we love to taste.... Ok... let me back up off that subject.(smile)
All Im saying is..... some things just dont need improving upon, and some things are good as an original.  Let me tell you something... back when I used to go hard drinking... People would look at me like I was the biggest redneck ,trailor park trash, marlboro red cigarette smoking, deer hunting  shotgun rebel flag flying,
Rush Limbaugh supportin,  Ku Klux Klan card carrying individual, when I stepped to a bartender and say....LET ME GET A BUDWEISER!!!  Now....Budweiser has deviated  somewhat like so many products, improving, adding, circulating, and marketing new forms of budweiser and I aint mad.  But when you get through talking....AINT NOTHING LIKE THE ORIGINAL BUDWEISER... THE KING OF BEERS.
I know what ya'll thinking...she did NOT say Budweiser!!! Yessir..... Im a St. Louis girl, born and raised and thats how we do in the Lou!!!! Believe that!!!
Any who.... I have 4 loads of clothes to wash... which  I might add., I WILL be using the ORIGINAL TIDE, CAUSE WASN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THE ORIGINAL TIDE!!! DAMMIT.   Ewww... that was weighing heavily on my spirit, and I had to get  all that off my chest, so I will close this rant out, but just remember, on your next grocery store shopping run, instead of being manipulated and coerced into the new and improved, ask yourself....WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THE ORIGINAL? and think of me.
As always in parting....
.what good is money and success if your hair looks A  HOT FUNKY ASS MESS?
GET LIFE BABY....THIS AINT NO DRESS REHEARSAL